Toxic Isn't Cool

It seems this week's theme for me to ponder is friendships and I am not quite sure how to lead into this. Whoa. There I go again.

It seems this week's theme for me to ponder is friendships and I am not quite sure how to lead into this. Whoa. There I go again. I just caught myself wanting to watch my words so as not to offend someone, which is exactly the topic I wanted to explore with you. So I guess I will jump in with both feet and see where I land.

Recently the whole political landscape has gotten heated. I have had a few very dear friends decide they didn't want to be my friend anymore because of the hate they have for someone they don't even know personally. Odd right? It was very hurtful as we had been friends for many years and suddenly I was the enemy over who I voted for in the past. I hadn't changed. I am the same person I was 5 minutes ago. I didn't understand that kind of hate. I held no ill will because they voted the way they did. There I ripped the bandaid off.

But this conversation isn't about politics. It's about friendships. As I said it was painful to have people I cared about walk away. I had to sit with that and explore what all that was about, for me. It is my intention with these blogs to encourage you to reflect on your life regularly and visit with your feelings and what they mean to you. I would be remiss if I didn't walk my talk.

In reflecting on lost relationships, I noticed a neediness. The need to not offend. The need to not lose people in my life. There is a trade off in that way of thinking. It forces us to cling to toxic relationships or relationships we have outgrown.

It is natural for our relationships to change. In letting go of others, we allow new and more relevant relationships to come in. This is especially true when you have done a lot of personal work. Old friends may no longer fit the picture. Example: If you are wanting to improve your eating or quit drinking or drugs, holding on to the old crowd may not be a good fit.

It may be painful but it is the pain of growth not loss. Remember back when you were young and went through growth spurts and the pain you had. Think of it like that. Everything has two perspectives. One will hinder you and the other will allow you to grow.

Because it isn't about the other person and what they did but how you are perceiving it. Stop and think about any pain you may be having. Can you see how you are growing from it?

Gwen Peterson, Creator of Insights and Illuminations

PS. If you have a truly toxic person in your life and you are ready to let them go. May I suggest a couple of videos for you.

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Categories: : Positive mindset