Let Them Have Their Experience: The Hardest Lesson in Letting Go

A powerful reminder to stop controlling others and return to self-awareness, reflection, and emotional freedom.

Here’s a lesson you won’t readily find in books about how to live your life:

✨ Allowing others to have their own life experience.

This is a tough one — especially if you’re a parent or have a significant other. When we love deeply, it’s easy to get caught in the urge to protect, help, and save those closest to us from the very pitfalls we once faced.

And yet… those same pitfalls are what shaped us. They’re what made us who we are.

Throughout much of the day, focusing on other people’s choices becomes a subtle distraction. It keeps our attention on what’s happening “out there” and creates the illusion that by controlling others, we’re somehow managing our own circumstances.

Let’s be honest for a moment.

The real reason we try to control someone else’s experience isn’t altruistic — no matter how nicely we dress it up. We do it because we don’t want to feel the emotional impact of their choices.

👉 I want to feel good, and I can’t feel good if you’re doing THAT.

That’s the bottom line.

We attempt to control external circumstances so we can feel better internally — and that never works. Every person is an individual, here to create their own experience.

Think about what happens when you try to help someone who hasn’t asked for it. Resentment shows up. Their sense of personal power gets diminished. And no one feels good in that exchange.

The invitation is always the same:
✨ Focus on yourself.
✨ Stay within yourself.
✨ Return to reflection.

And yes… let’s talk about “pasting” our experiences onto other people.

Just because something unfolded a certain way for you does not mean it will for them. They are not coming from your perspective — and no matter how convinced you are that you know better… you don’t.

Repeat after me:
✨ The only person I truly know is me — and there is plenty of work there.

Once you’ve mastered that whole walking-on-water thing, then maybe you’ll have a leg to stand on. But by then, you’ll also know this truth:

✨ Each person is having their own unique experience — and all will be well for them, just as it is for you.

Yes…
✨ It is.

With love,
Gwen

Gwen Peterson is a spiritual mentor, author, and founder of Insights & Illuminations. Through her writing, teachings, and guided practices, she helps people reconnect with their inner wisdom, cultivate emotional awareness, and create lives rooted in clarity, peace, and conscious choice. Gwen shares inspiration through her books, weekly reflections, meditations, and online offerings designed to support soulful growth and everyday transformation.

🌿 Explore her books, teachings, and guided experiences at InsightsAndIlluminations.com, and connect with her on YouTube for meditations, classes, and spiritual insights.

Categories: : Positive mindset